What a Woman Wants

Today, when my thoughts delved deeper into what exactly I want from the mate that I seek, my mind started this train of thought.

I have met a lot of guys. Some guys like me because I have a good job and a high salary. Some guys like me because I am a woman and guys of course want a woman to have fun with (No Strings attached mind you!!), some guys think I am a strong minded woman and can support them in their lives, and some guys just think of me as an ATM to cater to their financial needs.

When I think about most women and the concept of feminism, yeah there are woman who cherish their independence and want to prove that they are better than men at any given task. I for one, was always driven by the desire to earn my mom’s appreciation and prove that I was better than my brothers in any endeavors that I took, studies, job , life anything. But inspite of the hard exterior visage of feminism, all woman want a guy who can capture their imagination (be it economic independence, be it romanticism, be it adventurous nature, be it intelligence,  be it looks (well-read woman have at one time or another grown up on a staple of mills and boon, whose heroes were tall , dark, six pack handsome studs)

I was brought up in a society where men are considered to be superior. When growing up, I was the last one to be fed and often I struggled with the confusion as to why I should only get food after everyone had eaten or why I couldn’t get my favorite dish to eat because it was finished by the time I got to eat food. So, I grew up to be unabashedly feministic in my perspective of life. Of course, in my home, everyone needs to sit at the table together, girls, boys, men, women at the same time and have what they like to eat. Everyone’s choices are thought of and given credence too and all activities reflect that.

It is so very true that situations in one’s life shape up their desires and goals. I have had a ton of responsibilities which I strive to fulfill to the best of my abilities, but lost in all this hard work, is the young girl whose desires went unfulfilled. People tell me I have achieved a lot in life, but it seems like a hollow statement. Probably the culprit is the movies that I watch and the ideas about the ideal man in a woman’s life.

I have had an interrupted sex life, and I think my growth in my career would have been so much more, if I had the loving, intelligent caring partner in my life and if I didn’t have to worry about money issues every moment of my life. So when I think about what I as a woman want in my man, I think like a 16 year old girl. I want a healthy, outdoorsy guy who is tall, thin, has a six pack and a great appetite for sex. A guy who is financially stable to cater to my whims and fancies of going hand in hand to movies, vacations, concerts, restaurants. A guy, who opens the doors for me, who pulls out a chair for me to sit. A guy who cooks, when I am tired, and cuddles me to sleep in his bear hug.  A guy who is funny, religious and intellectual (nerdy would be just fine).  I want to have the happy family to build a place called home with and live happily ever after.

What made me think like dat, for one thing, my dad was an officer gentleman in the Indian army, so I was greatly influenced by his uprightness, kindness and gentleness towards women of the family and society. His smartness and tall stature, his love for spiritualism, and taste for good movies, good music.

A friend once told me I was blind to let go of a possible mate because he was not tall, or handsome or financially independent, but who could make me laugh and safe till the very end of my life. Idealistic thoughts like , make me laugh and keep me safe etc. doesn’t seem to satisfy my thinking, because when I look at a person, I see the future of how life would be with them. And if, that life is not the ideal life I imagined, then, my mind just stops thinking about that person.

 

Am I the prettiest or the daintiest woman in the whole world, I don’t profess to be. I am hardworking, truthful, simple, and responsible, and, I would like to think an intelligent person. And a feminist at that. I have been often told that I run away from conflicts. I would rather shut myself up, instead of going back and forth arguing about inane stuff in life. And yes, I think I deserve what I want, to be happy in life. So, to all those people who say, since u r not Miss World, or Miss Universe, don’t aspire for the best man in your life, sorry people, u all can take a hike. This is my life, my choice and nobody has a say in it.